Hello Hello! There’s a place called vertigo…and it’s not here…you know…because it sucks here without you all!!! (that was supposed to be read like the U2 song…)

As you already know, we have returned from D.R. and unless you want launches with bushes up to your knees, with rocks hidden underneath, and thorn bushes and trees in every direction and wind that picked at least me up and threw me across launch and down hill going BOUNCING from my head to my hip to my head to my hip to my head into a thorn tree that stopped my BOUNCING and with thorns 4 centimeters long jammed into your arms and legs that you have to pluck out like you pluck the feather from a turkey/chicken and cactus needles stuck in your skin so small you need tweezers to remove and bruises so big that your body looks like a peach that has been dropped from your apartment building and landing areas the size of a postage stamp with mosquitoes so small you need a microscope to see them and you get eaten alive only to start itching when you are about to fall asleep in a hotel room that is not even 1 star, it isn’t even a star it is a circle, NO it is a dot because the room is so crappy that when you shit your knees touch the wall in front of you and the shower head is actually a kitchen faucet that spews out cold water and you’re surrounded by relentless heat and food so bad that even the dogs are starving you can see their ribs stick out don’t even want to eat the food and would rather starve to death than to eat D.R. food because if you eat it you are doomed with diarrhea soooooo bad that when you use that prison like bathroom you don’t know whether you are pissing or dumping because it feels the same and you are amazed that your asshole and body can actually produce such horrific shits that you are actually amazed and fascinated in that sick sort of way ….well then…my friends…go to D.R.!!!!!

Dude…I thought Kosovo was difficult and miserable…D.R. is soooooooooooo poor. So poor that on Sundays ALL the gas stations close to save gas, so if you happen to be leaving the country on Sunday to go back to America and you suddenly realize that you don’t have enough gas to get to the airport you are fucked because NOT ONE GAS STATION is working. That’s what happened to us so we had to find a local and they siphoned gas from their vehicle for us.

And you know what happens to pilots that don’t get enough good flying….they go fucking crazy and drink their misery away and you know what happens to drunk pilots that didn’t get enough flying…they go fucking crazy doing stupid things like destroying hotel rooms. And you know what happened to drunk pilots that destroy hotel rooms because they didn’t get enough good flying…they are really hung-over the next day.

I flew so horribly that I think I should really rethink my flying career and go back to learning how to put one foot in front of the other.

Good stuff…we met some great people in D.R. and I mean we met the best people and had the best host…the only people better would be vertigo, of course. And for that I am grateful. All my war wounds were worth it.

Oh and for the guys…the girls are really hot…I think…at least it seemed that way according to Marko because he kept saying really disgusting things he would do to them in Macedonian of course…something like “ooh!!! Mamata ke go na piknam vo gz” or something like that…my Macedonian is getting rusty but you get the idea…

So that was D.R. So smile, get drunk, and get laid, and have fun and get some fucking air time because I didn’t!!!!! fly for me!!!!